It seems like I write a lot about helping. Helping others most notably, and what helping really looks like. These past 6 months I have been actively exploring ‘helping’ in depth. I worked more hours at a part-time job because the company needed it. I spent two weeks at a functional medicine hospital with my mother, I packed my daughter off to her first year of college, my stepson moved in, and out, I helped an older couple move, and my beloved finished a large project that required my computer skills. Whew, Yes, I can help!
And I took a 2 month sabbatical to rest and restore myself. :-0
Two months of travel camping in a self-built 10ft camper, gave me lots of time (if not space!) for introspection.
I asked more questions about this notion of ‘help', was it really serving me, and dove deeper into this notion of karma.
Karma, for me, is soul lesson stuff. Having an opportunity to learn from past action, past experience, and the possibility for healing and growth. It’s what we are really here for. To work it out and expand our consciousness as human beings.
Did my daughter need me to think of everything she would need to be comfortable without me at school? Did my mother need me to go with her or was this an offering for me? Did my stepson need my help in navigating how to get to work and car ownership or work schedules? Does my beloved really need my computer skills or is he better off outsourcing that work? Does the company need to create better systems and I’m preventing that from happening?
And most importantly, what opportunities to grow were I missing in my own life by shifting my focus to someone else’s?
What I remembered was that I cannot change someone else’s karma and I am not responsible for it. This is a soul choice for them to work through. I have my own karma, or soul choices to navigate. The best, (and yes sometimes hardest!) thing I can do to help another is to get out of their way and let them work through their own lessons.
Because if I step in and ‘help’ you avoid that experience because it looks challenging and I see you struggling and I know how to make it easier, well, I’m actually taking away your moment of truth, your opportunity for healing, growth and transformation. And that’s not helping.
So the questions became for me:
What am I willing to do to be a drop that fills their bucket without emptying my own?
What actions can I take that will stay out of their way and help them learn their lessons and work out their karma?
Am I willing to share without expectation of a return?
So it seems that to really help someone else, or change anything in this world, we must ask ourselves: ‘ How am I part of the change I want to see’?
Ultimately I chose the path of Peace.
By creating peace in our inner world, we create peace in our outer world. I go from reacting to life to interacting with life. Not only does this empower me, but it lightens my load and creates a more peaceful environment around me. In turn this ripples out to affect my closest relationships. And those people have a wider circle around them that is affected by their shift based on our interactions together.
Every moment is an opportunity for healing karma and transforming our lives. Here’s how I make the most of it for myself, my loved ones, and by default the world around me :
I allow you your karma, and I will work with mine.
I am responsible for my feelings and I practice forgiveness.
I choose peace.
I am a drop in the bucket.
Take the peace pledge for yourself and then head on over to https://www.myhealingsupport.com/resources-1 for a pdf to help you get present and work with choosing peace wherever you are.
Next newsletter will contain a free downloadable meditation to support your peace pledge so keep an eye out for it!
Yep, I’m back! And I’m ready to ‘help’ you change your world ;-)