Anger, Community and Boundaries - Say What?
January was about discernment: your truth about who you are and what you want (how to live, work, love, etc.)
February asked us to own those truths; really distill them and practice trusting yourself and what you discovered.
March is the ‘in like a lion’ energy. It is where the rubber meets the road. Where you take those truths and you create your fertile soil for them to grow, you create your community. And this is a real ‘hot button’ kind of energy. The heat comes back to wake us up from our winter sleep. Many will feel it in the form of anger and shake up. You may notice more expressions of anger in you and in those around you. It’s an up and out energy. Like spring.
But anger is usually a secondary emotion. Underlying feelings of hurt, shame, suffering, pain, disappointment, sorrow, and more, need to be seen and worked with. These are the real teachers guiding us to clarity. Often our boundaries have been violated because we didn’t express them, or we didn’t know we had them until it happened, or they weren’t acknowledged and respected by others.
In this case we must must must look at our community. Who are we surrounding ourselves with? How do they think, feel, act? Does it feel supportive and align with our deeper truths?
We want to be sure we are in a community that has our back, that will support us in living our truths, in taking our authentic actions, and that will respect, comfort, and enrich our lives. When we are in a community that does not do these things, we can feel taken for granted, resentful, disappointed, unseen or unheard, disrespected and more. This can lead to feelings of anger about the situation, the relationship, and ourselves, even. This anger is there to teach us about how the community we have chosen serves or doesn’t serve us.
March energy may feel at times as though all you have been ‘comfortable’ with is crumbling around you. Old systems are crashing down. Old beliefs that are out dated and don’t match your current view and reality are being ferretted out to be replaced with new ones.
Pick your pals mindfully. When you're creating your team, or community, it’s not to the point of isolation, rather to the point of nourishment, enrichment, and accountability.
And who are we in this community? We are being asked to make this commitment to ‘all things holy’, so to speak, to what you really believe in. And there is no one else. The calling is a ‘no looking back’, no holds barred, give it all you got, kind of showing up. So factor this in when making your decisions about people, places, and things to include in your community. It’s a big time two way street and you will be called up to participate in ways that may make you feel uncomfortable to stretch you and to grow your community.
When in doubt, Maya Angelou reminds us that “people will show you who they are”. “Believe them when they do.” Let their actions, rather than their words, be your guide.
This community you choose, you create, will hold you through the challenging dark nights, and sing you home. It will cheer you through the light, bright days and celebrate with you. It will be enriched by your participation and those shared goals you have can be met.
We can’t do oneness by ourselves. We can do it together.