In a world where you can customize just about everything, from drink orders to desserts, and all the way to gender identification, it might sound easy to change what you don't like and get it the way you want it.
Yet, many of us live day to day feeling stuck in painful patterns, with seemingly few options to change things, and dissatisfied with the life we are living.
So let me clarify what I mean here. I'm not talking about change to create more coffee flavors, or more paint colors, or spicy wing sauces, because holy moly there are more than I need and sometimes it leaves my head spinning...
What I'm referring to here is more subtle, and more potent than what customized Starbucks drink I'm going to order today to suit my palate.
Have you ever wished that you would have responded differently in a situation, or had another option available to you, or even wished you could feel differently about someone or something than you do?
When I've been short with a loved one, or reacted strongly to a situation that required finesse, or felt like I was between a rock and a hard place, or angry and I really just wanted this time to be different, I became stuck. It was like being on auto-pilot and watching what was unfolding rather than participating. I didnt' know how to stop the train. All I could see was what was in front of me, what I had been conditioned to see as the only possibilities, (often based on another's point of view). I was trapped because I wanted change and I was only looking for answers and I could't choose because I had to have the right one.
So how do I get out of this cycle? How could I change this?
I learned to ask questions.
I learned I could step back, and see that questions can change how I desire to feel, how I desire to show up in the world, how I wish to interact with my fellow Beings, and beyond. I began stepping in to my potency and exercising my power to create my world by asking for what I desired.
Because we can change anything. If we start with ourselves.
If you have worked with me at any point, you may have heard me encourage you to be in the question. Questions create choice. Answers create limitation and conclusion.
So by asking "What else is possible here?", I can open up to other possibilities.
We are so conditioned via our thoughts, feelings, and emotions to respond to life events. Moreover, we believe that there is a right choice and a wrong choice and we better figure it out quick. Why would I want more choices if I had to figure out the right one? In this paradigm, choices just created more pressure for me.
Yet look at those inventors and entrepreneurs who take big risks. They were not limited by right or wrong or other people's considerations. They ask questions like
'what else is possible'? And they choose. And then they choose again, and again.
Take Elon Musk. He hasn't give up on his Space X program just because it didn't workout the first time the way he wanted. "Tesla Is the most recalled car brand—by far—of all cars, trucks, and SUVs. Elon Musk's cars take 4 of the top 5 spots. Teslas are far more likely to be the subjects of a recall than any other carmaker" (autoweek.com) and yet he keeps modifying and building them. And we keep buying them. Musk bought out Twitter and X isn't looking so good now so it's said. But he doesn't stop. He continues to choose. And from those choices he creates more choices.
So what if that was the key? You ask a question. And then you choose. And don't judge your choice (or someone else's), and then choose again, from a whole new smorgasbord of options in front of you that were not previously there until you made that first choice.
And by living in 10 second increments of choice, we don't have to live in the finality, or the rightness, or the seriousness of our choice. We can live in the moment of our choice.
What if you chose for you right now?
I'm going to finish this article.
And then chose again?
I'm taking a break from the screen.
And again?
I'm going to say Yes and get married.
Again?
I'm going to take some space for myself.
Again?
I'm quitting my job.
Again?
I'm going to wait till I find another one.
Again?
I'm going to wear the black dress.
Again?
I'm not going to my folks for the holidays. I prefer some down time.
I hope you can see that you can never choose wrong. Elon Musk never makes a wrong choice. He simply chooses again.
There are examples of other entrepreneurs and visionaries to look to: Mother Teresa, Richard Branson, Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Einstein, etc. They all desired to change what was and create something greater than what currently existed. They all asked questions. They all had failures, they just didn't get trapped in to judging themselves about it. Instead, they made another choice.
By asking a question you open the door to greater possibilities beyond the thinking rational mind. And by choosing, you open the door for more choices. By exercising your muscle of choice and dropping the judgement, or the rightness or wrongness, you are living as the infinite Being you are. And wow, does that feel spacious and full of ease and possibility.
I get that sometimes we still just don't know. And that's okay too. Exercising choice can be small steps such as putting on your shoe, or as big as what to put on your tombstone, or bigger! Regardless of the action, the outcome is still the same: a host of new possibilties.
My invitation is to play with these questions, and 10 second increments of choice. And when you feel yourself in a torrential downpour of life, ask yourself:
"What other choice do I have here that I am not willing to explore, that if I did would change all of this with total ease?"
Or "What else is possible"?
Or "What would it take to feel more ease here?"
Exercise your power to choose to ask a question. Without needing to 'know' the answer. And watch what opens up for you.
Wishing you and your dear ones a very happy holiday season. The light is on it's way back and so much is possible. Soon, we will see more clearly.
Yours in Possibility,
Rachel